Who held your hand through it all? Who held it down for you? ME. You couldn’t back me up? This is never going to work, it never could work. & I’m fine with that. I finally excepted that we are 2 really stubborn people that cant be together, I admit we have a crazy bond, & something draws me to you….but I can live without it, I can live without you.

All I ask is for outsiders looking in, not to judge me. I’m always being judged. I can never make a move without wondering who I’m affecting. I wish I could just say IDGAF & be done with it…..but I can’t.

to never let another man into my heart. I will never give a man enough of me to crush me, that’s where I always go wrong. I give too much of myself. When I barely have enough of me, for me.

I miss the bland life I used to live. The party life swept me away….away from who I should be. I don’t know this girl I’ve become….& I’m starting not to like her either. I’m caught in a whirlwind of all sorts of things new to me….things I swore I’d never do….

Times like these I know for a fact I have nobody. Its always me in the end. I don’t want anybody I don’t need anybody. But it would be nice to know someones there…..Making my life about myself & positive motives, work, exercise, mommy time, sleep….no time for anyone or anything else will be made. This is it. I’m at my prime in life & I’m not going to let irrelevant people ruin in….I’m phoneless & I love it. No temptation. Facebooks about to be gone soon too.

Note to self….don’t ever let anyone feel they’re permanent in your life, that leads to them taking advantage……leading to them forgetting why they worked so hard to be here….leading to me wondering why I even gave an effort to be here? Keeping in mind everything’s temporary….including feelings

It just sucks that I can’t make my own decisions, without every single person sticking in their 2 sense….

When the person you want to be with is soooo out of the question in your family’s and friends eyes? When everything you do is constantly questioned….I love the kid I reaaaaaallllyyy do. I can’t forgive him just yet. It’s not making it any easier for me to let go of this grudge on him, when everyyyyone else holds the same one…

I really am. Leaving my sons dad is the best decision I ever made. I would have never met this ammaaaazing man I am with today. I’m so high off his company, sex….just being with him. This life with him. I admit, I’ve been going out alot more lately….but people need to remember I’m only 18. I am so content with my life. I want this shit forever.